New York Times & USA Today Bestselling Author

10 REASONS WRITERS SHOULD NEVER BE TRUSTED

Posted May 25 2011, 6:46 pm

1. They’re obsessed with how to commit the perfect murder.

2. They often stare into space for no reason.

3. They never dangle their participles for fear of being arrested.

4. They know a tad too much about poisons.

5. They know more sexual positions than the professionals.

6. Their ideal work environment is a stretch in solitary confinement.

7. Their favorite saying is, “Kill your darlings.”

8. Many are actively lobbying congress to declare coffee a basic food group.

9. They know how much C-4 it takes to blow up a mid-sized Chevy.

10.Anything (ANYTHING!) you say or do could appear in their next book.

Comments

21 responses to “10 REASONS WRITERS SHOULD NEVER BE TRUSTED”

  1. Love…..

    #11 they are evil genius’ who weave their spells of words and cliff hangers, that cause their readers to be come addicted and obessed to thier every word…

  2. Lissa G. says:

    Number 2, 5, 6,8, 10 are also reasons never to trust a Sex Therapist. 🙂

  3. Mickey says:

    Bahahahaha I love it! I’m going to use this for Friday Five if that’s okay :o)

  4. LOVE! HAHAHAHA! Especially the bit about knowing how much C-4 you need to blow up a Chevy! My crit partner and I wonder how many of us are on FBI watch lists because of the information we search for on Google. 😉

    • darynda says:

      Oh my gosh, I totally wonder that too!!! I’ve heard horror stories of the FBI going into a writer’s house and confiscating everything. It’s crazy what they know! lol

  5. Sarah Shade says:

    Love it!!!! Perfect timing since I’m right in the middle of learning everything there is to know about Colt-45 pistols and how to kill someone with one. I’m really good at #2, even when someone is speaking to me and I start thinking about my WIP. Quite embarrassing when you get caught. Also, for years the kids at the dance studio have teased me because when I’m thinking up choreography, I stare at one of the dancers. That tends to freak out the ones who aren’t used to it.

    • LOL, that’s awesome, Sarah! Creative minds, baby. We all have such a drive and…well, “those” moments. We need a name for it. Senior moments is already taken, darn it.

  6. Shea Berkley says:

    Oh, how true. I’m often googling about killing and poisons and how to do XYZ that no sane person would want to know, and a lot of the time it isn’t even for my book, it’s for someone elses. I hope my husband never comes up dead for mysterious reasons or I’m screwed.

    • You and me both, Shea. Did you see American Beauty. Not my favorite movie, but brilliantly written so that the murder at the end leave everyone suspect except the real killer. I’m like, “Oh yeah. That will be me if anything happens to my DH.” lol

  7. TJ Hollingsworth says:

    We also know how a serial killer’s mind works and the best place to bury bodies after we’ve dismembered them. Muhahahahah!

  8. Rachel Caine says:

    Hey, Darynda! I LOVE YOUR WRITING. Just wanted to say that. Thank you. 🙂

  9. Kim R. says:

    # 8 is my favorite!! Can’t wait to see you and all the writers @ RWA in NY.

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